new post on fixing broken things

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http/_posts/2022-11-06-fixing-the-broken.md

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+---
+layout: post
+title: "The Satisfaction of Fixing the Broken"
+date: 2022-11-06 17:40:16
+---
+I'm not exactly what one would call "handy."
+
+There's something about the real world's lack of an "undo" button that has always given me more than a little bit of anxiety when it comes to trying to do things with my own two hands. When you screw up writing a piece of software, recovery is generally quick and painless, but a mistake made working on a car or home could cost hundreds if not _thousands_ of dollars. It's two different worlds with two vastly different consequences for incompetence, and I hate it.
+
+I suppose makes me a pretty stereotypical millennial, but given the choice between paying someone to fix something and trying (and probably failing) to do it myself, I have almost always chosen to shell out some cash to let a "professional" do it right the first time around.
+
+It's not because I don't _want_ to be good with my hands. It's just that I never developed that skill set growing up, and as a result suffer from some serious self confidence problems. But the last few years have been punctuated by a ton of personal growth opportunities, and that lack of handiness is something I have been trying to break out of my comfort zone to improve.
+
+Within reason, of course.
+
+So, a few months ago, my wife and I noticed that our washing machine was leaking water from under the door. Like... a lot of water. So, what did we as responsible homeowners do? Shoved a towel under it and finished washing the kids' clothes.
+
+I may not be handy, but my programmer's brain has made me particularly adept at designing workarounds, so through some minor trial and error I was able to keep the water contained in the laundry room and funneled into the drain while we assessed our options. After some inspection, I felt confident that the issue was caused by a big chunk of rubber that seemed to have been torn out of the gasket that kept all the water in the big spinny thing (that's the technical term, I looked it up) when the door was shut.
+
+But, despite my efforts to learn what all the tools in my shiny tool belt are called, appliance repair felt just a little out of my depth, so I made a few calls and was able to get a professional out to take a look at our new in-home water fountain and tell me how frugal of a Christmas I should plan.
+
+A lot, as it turns out.
+
+According to the nice gentleman with _very_ calloused hands, replacing the door gasket on our washer was a surprisingly involved task that would cost _almost_ as much as a brand new washer... so I bid him farewell and took to YouTube University to learn how to rough my own hands up. After all, if I screwed up the repair, I'd be out just over what I would have spent paying someone else to do it.
+
+What did I have to lose?
+
+It didn't take long to find [a video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WBTgGSFeQs) that outlined the steps and equipment necessary to fix my washer, and after an hour or so of hyperventilating, I had the parts ordered and on the way.
+
+And then I waited.
+
+I am what you might call a master of procrastination. It's not laziness that keeps me from doing things in a timely manner, it's fear. Fear that I might screw something up, or fear that I might fail. It's a defense mechanism that has been honed over _decades_ of overwhelming school, work, and chores. So when the replacement gasket arrived, I waited for almost _two weeks_ before I built up the courage to actually try installing it.
+
+But, try I did, and as of just a few hours ago, I officially have a working washing machine that ~~definitely~~ probably keeps all the water _inside_! And, in case you were wondering, it cost me less than 1/10th what I would have spent on a repair man.
+
+This story isn't about my personal triumph over self-doubt, though. It's about the allure of simply throwing money at a problem (even if you don't have that money to begin with) at the expense of self-sufficiency. I hate that I know how to run and maintain my entire digital life with my eyes closed, but not how to maintain my snowblower, or install drywall, or change my oil.
+
+I'm working to learn those things, but it's been a slow journey, filled with peril and fear. I still have a long way to go, but the big takeaway from this particular experience has been that the cost of _trying_ to do something can be mitigated by study (thanks again YouTube), caution (measure twice, cut once), and patience (slow is steady and steady is fast).
+
+To some, this is probably pretty small potatoes, but to me it has been pretty rewarding. While I still don't know what all the tools in my toolbelt are for (I'm pretty sure at least one of them is a screwdriver), they're at least starting to look a little less intimidating.